The Biggest Bounty Ever Being Hunted by the Best
by Midi Nite
Summary: (PG-13 for Spike's mouth....) Who is the biggest bounty that the Bebop have ever hunted? Well, whoever that was, this one's bigger. It's worth 1,200,000,000,000 woolongs! Who is his man? Will they capture him? Or not? (summary sux. Trigun/Bebop)
1. HOW MANY WOOLONGS?

Disclaimer: I was a little confused and I don't really know where to put this, so I'm posting it twice in the Trigun section and in the Cowboy Bebop section. Different summaries, but I might make the titles the same, not really sure. I don't own any of the characters (damn).  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~  
  
"Where the hell are we going to get the money for that, Faye!" Spike yelled at Faye, who was asking about something expensive she thought that they needed.  
  
"From hunting bounties," Faye said smoothly.  
  
"Well, the next bounty payment we get is going to go into repairing the ship. Not some damn shopping spree," Spike informed.  
  
"Ed has a solution!" the quirky teenager said as she hung from the ceiling. "We could split the bounty money between Faye Faye, Jet Jet, and Mr. Spike Spike."  
  
"What about you, Ed?" Faye asked.  
  
"Ed just likes to eat. You buy Ed food, so Ed doesn't need much money," Ed answered. "But there is this new computer that Ed really wants-"  
  
"Nice try, Ed," Spike cut off. "We don't need a new computer."  
  
"COME QUICK!" Jet yelled suddenly from the other room. Everyone got up and began to run.  
  
"What?" Spike and Faye asked.  
  
"We have a new bounty!" Jet said, excitedly. "This one's worth sixty billion double dollars."  
  
"What the hell are double dollars?" Spike asked, thinking about how much it was worth in woolongs.  
  
"Is that a lot?" Faye asked with a twinkle in her eyes.  
  
"I did all of the currency rates and found that this would be our biggest bounty yet," Jet said. "It's worth about one hundred twenty billion woolongs." They all went crazy, except Jet and Ein, who was a little scared of the big people jumping around. "The only problem is," Jet continued, "that everyone who's tried to catch this guy has never succeeded."  
  
"Well, seems like a good challenge," Spike commented.  
  
"With an even better reward," Faye added.  
  
"If everyone caches him, Ed will get the new computer!" Ed squealed with joy.  
  
Meanwhile. . . In a galaxy far far away. . . (Okay, so maybe it wasn't THAT far away. . .)  
  
"Man! I'm thirsty! Where's the closest bar?" Vash asked no one in particular. Suddenly, he did a face plant into the ground, and his head was throbbing.  
  
"Vash, you know we don't have time for this!" Merryl yelled at him.  
  
"Well, you don't have to hit so hard," Vash said as he stood up and rubbed the back of his head where Merryl had punched him.  
  
"Let's keep going," Merryl said. Millie walked beside Merryl. A short distance behind were the two old friends, Vash and Wolfwood.  
  
"Here's the plan," Vash whispered into Wolfwood's ear. "We're going to keep making footsteps, but we're going to stay here, so we can sneak into the closest saloon, okay?"  
  
"Wait a minute! You're saying you want us to just leave those two out here?" Wolfwood asked.  
  
"In all due time, they'll notice we're not there," Vash answered.  
  
"I'm sorry pal," Wolfwood laughed. "But you'll have to count me out. God would never forgive me if I let them die in the desert like that." After that, they walked in silence.  
  
Meanwhile. . . (again. . .)  
  
The Bebop was moving swiftly through space. It was only a matter of time before the crew got to the planet where this amazing bounty man was. Faye was thinking of all the clothes she could buy, Jet was thinking of the food, along with Ed, Spike was thinking about how great he could make the Swordfish and Bebop with all of that money, and Ein was thinking about the gourmet dog food Ed would give him. (A/N: In the manga he's a data dog. I hope it's the same in the series, which I've only seen #11 and #25.)  
  
"We should be there soon," Jet informed the crew as he looked at the screen in front of him. Spike got up out of the chair he was sitting in.  
  
"I'm going to go and get armed. If no one's caught this guy, we might as well be prepared for the worst," Spike said as he headed toward his little gun room. Faye stayed sitting, reading the latest fashion magazine. Ed was playing with Ein. An hour later, everyone was ready to land. Spike had a ton of weapons, including five shot guns, a rifle, ammunition, and a flamethrower. Faye just had two guns, Jet with three, and Ed was going to stay behind to see if she could track the bounty down on her computer.  
  
"Remember, this guy's name is Vash the stampede. He's supposed to be a humanoid typhoon or something," Jet said to everyone. "He has blonde spikey hair, and he's a complete dork for such an amazing gun man."  
  
"Right, let's go," Spike said as he clicked one of his guns and pretended to aim at the bounty. The door opened. They all stepped out of the ship. Looking around they saw nothing but endless miles of desert. No signs of anything close-by, except one little town off in the distance, and four figures walking towards the town.  
  
"Let's go ask them if they've seen this Vash dude," Jet said.  
  
"Right," replied Faye, beginning to walk in the direction of the four figures.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
That was dumb and short. Oh well, just a little intro, I guess. (Man, it really did suck though. . .) R&R please. Suggestions welcome. Tell me how much it sucked, low flame only please. 


	2. They meet each other

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. I do own pocky wrappers, and some manga and shonen jump, but no one cares. THAT'S OKAY THOUGH! On with the insanity!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Faye, Jet, and Spike trudged through the sand, powered by the biggest bounty ever. It would be able to pay for anything Faye wanted, for whatever repairs Spike wanted to make, and for whatever Jet wanted to cook for the crew.  
  
"You should be close by now," Ed's voice rang in all of their earpieces. "They are entering a place called Augusta City. There are. . . erm. . . four of them. Merryl Strife and Millie Thompson from the Bernardaily (A/N: hope I spelt it right) Insurance Company. Vash, and some other guy named Wolfwood. Good luck guys!" Ed's voice crackled off.  
  
"Hear that guys?" Jet said to the rest of the crew. "That's got to be them all right."  
  
"LET'S GO!" Faye yelled, thinking still of everything she could buy.  
  
"Keep your voice down, we don't want them to know that we're here," Spike hissed to Faye.  
  
MEANWHILE. . . (that's getting old)  
  
"Hey, anyone got anything to drink?" Vash whined.  
  
"You should have been more prepared," Merryl said with a flick of her head.  
  
"Give the man a break. He just got a little distracted in that other town by all of the free donuts," Wolfwood said to Merryl in defense of Vash.  
  
"Here you go, Mr. Vash," Millie said as she gave Vash a little of her water.  
  
"Oh thank you, kind lady!" Vash said as he stood up. "TO BE ALIVE AGAIN!" he said as he laughed. (A/N: I think he really did this in one of the episodes!) Some close-by people ushered their kids away, not wanting them to stare at this crazy man.  
  
"Hiya!" a voice rang out from behind them. The four of them turned to face a young woman dressed in yellow short shorts and a yellow cut off top, a thin man dressed a blue striped suit, and another buffer man dressed in some kind of jean outfit.  
  
"Hello young lady!" Vash said, about to pull something off.  
  
"I'm not interested," Faye said.  
  
"No, no, no, nothing like that!" Vash laughed. "I can be your personal body guard!" he said as he put his arm around her.  
  
"Actually, we're um. . ." Spike began.  
  
"Out of fuel," Jet barged in, "and we wanted to know if you could spare us some."  
  
"Well, we have nothing with us, but we can go into the next town and get some for you," Millie volunteered.  
  
"Millie," Merryl whined, with a we-don't-really-have-time-or-the- money-for-this look.  
  
"We would really appreciate it," Faye said to Vash.  
  
"Whatever you say lady!" Vash said, entranced by her beauty. He started to stomp off for the next city. "HELP! A POOR LADY HAS RUN OUT OF GAS! WE NEED SOME!" He yelled to the people in the town.  
  
"Well, actually. . ." Spike said as he and the rest of them fired tranquilizers into the other four. "We're just here for the bounty of Vash, the stampede."  
  
"Dammit, Vash!" Wolfwood said. "Why do you havetobeso uhhhhhhhh. . ." Wolfwood instantly fell asleep just like the others.  
  
"Well, I say we take all four of them," Spike said.  
  
"No, just take the Vash dude," Jet said. "It would be too much to carry two bodies by yourself back to the ship.  
  
"I say we take all of them. We can't just leave them out here!" Faye said.  
  
"Fine," Jet said as he picked up Merryl and Wolfwood and slung them over his shoulders. "You can get the other two, Spike," Jet said.  
  
"What about Faye?!" Spike complained.  
  
"Like she's going to carry anyone?" Jet said.  
  
"That's right," Faye said. "Load up, Spike," she said as she began to walk away.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~  
  
I have some bad news, BAD LYRICS! I feel that I should share all of these with you guys so you can compare yaoi fics to these songs and think which one is worse. ^_^  
  
Captain Jack, by Captain Jack: (these are just parts from the song)  
  
Ejo Captain Jack/ bring me back to the railroad track/ give me a gun in my hand, I want to be a shooting man  
  
Ejo Captain Jack bring me back to the railroad track/ give me a bottle in my hand/ I want to be a drunken man  
  
Ejo Captain Jack bring me back to the railroad track/ give me a girl in my hand/ I want to be a fucking man  
  
This is from another song, I don't know what it's called.  
  
Girl: I wanna have some candy!/ Ooooo, bubble gum!/ I love you boys./ I wanna be your bubble gum!  
  
Girl: Come take my hand, come and dance with me, my sweetness will make you see./ I will take you through the night, stay until the morning light. I'm your candy girl! I'm your candy girl.  
  
Guy(who mentally scarred me): Why do you tease me?  
  
Girl: I'm your candy girl.  
  
Guy(AAHHHH NOT AGAIN!): Baby can you please me?  
  
Girl: I'm your candy girl.  
  
Guy(last time): Why do you tease me?  
  
Girl: I'm your candy girl.  
  
Just thought I'd let you know! Review please (fic and songs. Actually, the songs are really good if you ignore that. ^_^) 


	3. Trying to get away, eh?

Disclaimer: I don't own stuff like anime. I hardly own myself. I don't own much more than that. LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!!!!!!! (I'm kinda short on reviews, so please review, and recommend this to people who will review too!)  
  
(**)=Thoughts  
  
""= stuff they are saying (DUH!!!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~ = change of POV or scene  
  
Sorry in advance about all of the POV and scene changes. ^^ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
(*Huh? Where am I?*) Vash wondered as he woke up, looking to see that he was tied to a ladder in a metal room, which reminded him of Seeds. He looked around some more to see what else he could discover. (*Wait, wasn't I captured?*) he stopped himself. He saw Wolfewood on his right, tied to another ladder, and Millie and Merryl taped together on a pole a short distance away. How was he going to get out of this one? Millie stirred.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Vash," she whispered.  
  
"Why, hello. Nice nap, huh?" Vash whispered back, but you could still hear the silliness in him.  
  
"Yes," Millie answered simply. "Should I wake Merryl?"  
  
"No, I have a plan," Vash lied.  
  
"Okay, Mr. Vash, I'll let you take care of it," Millie let him know. Vash smiled as he thought of a way out of this. It would be too hard to carry all of them through the ship, trying to find a way out. He would have to plan before Wolfewood and Merryl woke up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"We're almost there," Jet said to the rest of the crew, who were sitting in front of him, waiting to land so they could collect their money. "I'm getting permission to land right now."  
  
"I can already taste the food I'm going to buy," Spike said.  
  
"I can feel the clothes I'm going to wear," Faye added on to the list.  
  
"Ed can imagine her new computer," Ed added some more.  
  
"I just can't wait to get this old heap fixed up," Jet said, meaning the Bebop. They all had something to look forward too, as soon as they dropped off the man in the red coat. (*But what are we going to do with the other three?*) Jet thought.  
  
"What about that guy and the two girls?" Faye asked, lighting up a cigarette, reading Jet's mind.  
  
"I don't really know. Any ideas?" Jet said.  
  
"We could kill them," Spike suggested.  
  
"That's not right!" Faye yelled.  
  
"What do you suggest then, Mrs. Smarty-pants?" Spike shot back.  
  
"I think we should take them back," Faye answered.  
  
"All of that gas money would come out of your share of the bounty," Jet said to the woman. Just then, a bump was felt by everyone as something happened to the ship.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Vash had managed to untie himself somehow just as Wolfewood woke up. He quickly and quietly told Wolfewood of his plans. Wolfewood just nodded, and went to untie Millie. Vash was untying Merryl just as she woke up. They all knew the plan shortly, which Merryl highly disapproved of as usual, but kept quiet about it because she didn't see any other way out.  
  
They crept down the hallway, trying to be as quiet as they could. Unfortunately, Vash tripped, which made Wolfewood drop his heavy cross. Fortunately, Millie caught it. Merryl rolled her eyes with a how-immature- can-you-guys-be look on her face. They kept on walking, and the rest of the trip was uneventful. They got to their goal: the launching deck. They chose the biggest ship that they could find, which happened to be Jet's ship. Wolfewood decided that he should navigate the ship because Vash would have more of a chance of screwing it up.  
  
They all piled into the tiny ship. Wolfewood started it, and full throttled it through the door, out of the bigger ship it was in. Vash looked back at the whole they had made, and saw three figures, the woman and two men from before. He waved to them, as they cursed at him while he sped off into the void.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"There's no way I'm letting him get off with my ship!" Jet yelled as he started running back toward the control room. He found the little remote Ed used once to take control of the Bebop, and used it on his ship. Soon, he was guiding the ship back toward the Bebop.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Damn!" Wolfewood swore. Someone else was navigating them, and Wolfewood couldn't do a thing to stop it.  
  
"What?" Vash asked eagerly.  
  
"I can't control the ship anymore! We're being pulled back!" he groaned, pulling at his face with his fingers. Soon, they were back in the custody of the three bounty hunters.  
  
"So, you thought you could escape, eh?" Jet asked them.  
  
"Yes, Mr. We thought we could. How silly of us!" Vash laughed.  
  
"First off, you can't take Jet's ship. Second, Jet? Where did you get that thingy?" Spike asked.  
  
"Oh this?" Jet held up the remote. "It's Ed's, remember?" Jet responded before Vash could answer Spike.  
  
"I remember," Faye said as she exhaled a puff of smoke.  
  
"Let's get these guys back into their places," Spike said as he punched each one unconscious.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
R&R, I'm really desperate! I hope it wasn't too confusing with all of the changes and stuff. SORRY! 


	4. Faye and Vash

Disclaimer: I don't own any anime mentioned in this chapter.  
  
Author's notes: Thanks for reviewing (if you do) and reading (which you should). This might be a lil' messed up because I'm forcing myself to update all of my fics. ^__^ This is lucky number 1!!  
  
Same as last time:  
  
(**)=Thoughts  
  
""= stuff they are saying (DUH!!!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~ = change of POV or scene  
  
(NEW) ^*^=flashback  
  
(NEW)^****^=end of flashback  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Vash woke up five minutes later, concerned that he was never going to get out, and that he would be stuck on this ship and never get to accomplish his mission in life: to get Knives for what he did to Rem.  
  
^*^  
  
"Vash! We haven't spoken in a while," Rem said, laying on the ground under the big blue sky belonging to Eden. (A/N: Trigun revolves around Eden, so I'm assuming that's where they are when you see Rem and Vash) Right next to her, was Vash.  
  
"Rem, I've done so many wrong things, and now I'm stuck! I won't be able to see him again," Vash complained to Rem. Not whiny, not yelling, not concerned, just calm. The way he always was and is with Rem.  
  
"There's always a way out. You're just not looking hard enough," Rem smiled at him. "Try the little girl, or the woman. I think you'll find refuge in the kindness of their hearts."  
  
"Rem.." Vash took in her face. He didn't want to forget her ever. The next thing he knew, she was fading, like she did when they were separated. "WAIT!" Vash yelled, holding up a hand as if it would stop her from going away.  
  
^****^  
  
(*I know what I have to do*) thought Vash. He knew that the only way it would work is if he could find the girl or that woman that was there when they captured him. Since he was chained and duct taped, and all sorts of other stuff to a pole, he couldn't really find a way out.  
  
"Why is it always meeeeeee??" he whined in that way that he does when it's funny.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"You think I should go check on them?" Faye asked the two guys, seeing as Ed was rolling on the floor, playing with Ein.  
  
"Whatever you want," Jet waved a hand at her. His eyes were glued to the flat screen TV, which was flashing the current bounties. Faye got off of the couch, and began to walk towards the room where they were being held. When she got to the room, she opened the door, and walked in. The only one who appeared to be awake was the actual bounty.  
  
"Well, hello, mister bounty head," she said to Vash.  
  
"Hi, kind lady!" Vash sucked up.  
  
"How are you?" She asked him, lighting up a cigarette.  
  
"Great, considering I'm stuck here. You don't look so bad yourself," Vash sucked up some more.  
  
"I feel worse than I look," Faye said, as she tilted her head up, and blew out a cloud of smoke, which just HAPPENED to reach the nostrils of Wolfewood.  
  
"Hey! I ran out a couple of days ago! Wanna give me a light?" Wolfewood asked Faye, with a beaming smile.  
  
"This is NOT the time for that!" Vash yelled at Wolfewood, trying to signal with his eyes that he was trying to escape from the Bebop.  
  
"Oh!" Wolfewood said as it clicked in his brain. He instantly went to looking like he was blacked out.  
  
"Is he okay?" Faye questioned, thinking he was messed up mentally or something.  
  
"Eh, he's fine," Vash covered up.  
  
"Good," Faye said, smoldering her cigarette with her shoe.  
  
"Please don't leave," Vash said as Faye headed for the door.  
  
"Huh?" Faye whipped around.  
  
"I don't know what I did wrong. Can you tell me?" Vash asked her. Faye shifted so she was facing him  
  
"You're wanted for leveling Lost July. That's pretty sad you don't know what you did.." Faye explained.  
  
"I didn't do it though!" Vash lied. Of course he knew he did it, just not directly.. For a minute, Faye felt really sorry for him, and saw the honesty in his troubled blue eyes.  
  
"Nice try, pal," she said, as she walked out. She wasn't blinded by the eyes like so many others who had tried to catch him before.  
  
"Dammittttt," Vash whined.  
  
"HEY! I STILL WANT A CIGARETTE!!" Wolfewood yelled after the door slammed shut.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Please be kind, R&R. ^___^  
  
I got a little stuck on one part, but I think it turned out okay. Lemme know what you think. 


End file.
